The List Man

Face Paint

2007-02-13T16:31:00.000-08:00

Eva emailed me this image from London Fashion Week and I'm SO into it. It's from an Indian designer named Manish Auroroa, and even though I guess some of the pieces are pretty wearable (ok I would never think my girl friends would wear them, but I guess...) the whole thing looks like a cool combo between a rock concert and a Star Trek episode. I'm so into it. I have no idea how you could stage something like this in a gallery without making it look like a parade but it's SO cool. At the very least it makes me want to throw a costume party just so I can dress everyone up like this runway.

I'm really inspired now so I guess I'm gonna go draw... or try to... haven't heard from Sophia in weeks but Jenny keeps telling me not to call her. So... back to drawing I go...

Girls Ain't Nothing But Trouble

2007-01-26T20:18:00.000-08:00

Year of Jenny: Hey, we need to talk for a second.

Sebastian The List Man: Uh oh. That doesn't sound good.

Year of Jenny: How can you tell what I sound like? I'm on IM.

Sebastian The List Man: Jenny. Go.

Year of Jenny: K, I think you really upset Sophia with your last post about the transcendentalists.

Sebastian The List Man: What? Sophia read the word "transcendentalists"?

Year of Jenny: SEE?

Sebastian The List Man: I was kidding. You know that. Look, you know I love Sophia. I love all you girls. But ever since Eva's New Year's party when we had that random hookup, I get the feeling she wants to actually date me. And I know in Sunset Heat, we were VERY into eah other, but that was vacation and this is New York.

Year of Jenny: OMG you sound like that guy from Legally Blonde.

Sebastian The List Man: Yeah I don't know what you're talking about.

Year of Jenny: Like how Chris Martin was all over that SNL intern for like a year but then when he realized he should get married it had to be Gwyneth.

Sebastian The List Man: K what does Coldplay have to do with Sophia and Thoreau?

Year of Jenny: I think you're missing the point. Which is probably my fault. Sorry, major caffeine rush, went for Starbucks with the band and I'm buzzed.

Sebastian The List Man: It's okay, go on.

Year of Jenny: What I'm trying to say is that Sophia is very upset. She thinks you think she's dumb.

Sebastian The List Man: When does Sophia care what anybody thinks about her, ever? That's why she's so cool.

Year of Jenny: Exactly, so you know this is really serious.

Sebastian The List Man: Look I would never want to hurt Sophia. She's incredible. You know that.

Year of Jenny: Yeah, she's been one of my best friends during this awful Reed thing. Which is shocking.

Sebastian The List Man: But Sophia is on a different planet than me right now. I want to really make some art, get some things out there, make a difference, and every time I've tried to talk with Sophia, all she wants to talk about is like, Factory Girl.

Year of Jenny:Well. Maybe you should give her a chance to talk about something else.

Sebastian The List Man: Okay, what does THAT mean?

Year of Jenny: Whatever, it's late, let's deal with this tomorrow. Brunch? 7A?

Sebastian The List Man: Breakfast, I have a ton of work to do on this portfolio I'm sending to Rivington Arms.

Year of Jenny: K, that's fine. And just so you know - the transcendentalists are also a punk band.

Sebastian The List Man: No crap. Really?

Year of Jenny: Really. love ya, bye.

"Downtown Art" is also "What Was In My Tenth Grade Locker"

2007-01-13T16:35:00.000-08:00

Still trying to remain calm about the New York Magazine article on the downtown art scene, where it totally champions Dash Snow and his clown posse as the next generation of New York Cool.

Now I'm not pretending these guys aren't talented, because they definitely are, but to say they're heading up the next great Manhattan movement is ridiculous. For one thing, only Ryan has a real following outside New York. And for another, their incestuous social scene is sort of the same as a knot of prep school kids or a graduate program's study group - this is not like when Herman Melville and Nathaniel Hawthorne started sending each other manuscripts and creating maybe the best club in history - the transcendentalists.

Anyway I understand I'm ranting but wow I'm annoyed.

Also: last night Sophia asked what Transcendentalist meant and now I'm pretty sure we can't date, ever.

Anarchy and Art

2007-01-11T13:53:00.000-08:00

Ever wondered how to turn your least-favorite ad into very cool art? Watch this video from my friends at The Abstractor, who show you in four easy steps how to transform a video billboard into a postmodern light installation.

Besides being a really good prank, this activity might also make a good date if you're both in art school, down with dressing like cat burglars, and okay with getting your hands dirty.

So I guess Sophia and Eva would never try it...

Snow Day

2006-12-24T20:18:00.000-08:00

Adults never get them but I'm taking one. Maybe at the end I'll be less confused. Or at least less hung over. Whatever.

Girls On Film

2006-12-24T19:24:00.000-08:00

So now we come to the tricky part where I have to figure out New Years.

First there's Sophia, who I know wants to do New Year's with me but it might be too much drama. Clearly neither of us want the drama that comes with being together, but if even a little bit of egg nog - okay and like four tequila shots but whatever - makes us make out in a shoe closet, then that's gonna happen. And maybe for the first time, ever, that's not what I want from an incredible, gorgeous, cool girl. What in the world is going on?

Then Jenny. Jenny's like, hey, my brother and his band are going to MTV for New Year's and you should come. Which would be cool. And I love Jenny, like, love her. But I feel like her brother totally reads Jennys blog, has definitely seen the Sunset Heat episodes, and will beat the crap out of me if he ever meets me. Unless he's a really skinny indie rock boy and then whatever. But it might not be the best idea. Also, maybe Jenny needs to run free a little bit so she can meet a guy who wants her as more than just a friend?

And Eva. Eva is cool. She makes sense. I love hanging out with her. But if I spend New Year's with her, even though they should theoretically be cool with it, neither Jenny nor Sophia will ever forgive me for it. Because they're girls, which means they're jealous and picky and insane. But also amazing and gorgeous, so maybe it's their right.

Finally, Chaucer. My dog. He'd love to spend New Year's with me. And he likes to cuddle and stay up all night so there you go. The perfect date. And nobody can be jealous of that.

Holidaze

2006-12-24T19:19:00.000-08:00

I don't really love Christmas because I don't really love my family, but I have to admit, there's something really fun about the iconography...

The Ins and Outs...

2006-12-22T20:29:00.000-08:00

Here's the latest list, and speaking of MySpace:

GO TO OUR PAGE. BE FRIENDS WITH US. MAKE EVA HAPPY.

And no, for those of you who have been emailing, Sophia and I are definitely NOT dating so stop asking.

Denial: The Sunset Heat Way

2006-12-20T09:19:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm not even going to talk about what happened at Eva's Christmas party on Saturday (I think Eva and Sophia have done a pretty good job of describing it, ugh). Instead, here's my crack at the Sunset Heat survey, which, thank god, has nothing to do with making out with Sophia in a shoe closet.

Here we go...

Name: Sebastian Paraguas
Age: 23
Favorite Color: Burnt Sienna. Not really but I like that there was a color like that in the crayon box. Plus when I met Sienna in London last year I called her that. I don't think she got it. Anyway.
Favorite Song: Which Will by Nick Drake
Favorite Movie: City of God and Pollack.
Favorite Websites: I love Slate.com which is not very arty but whatever
Favorite Store: Jeffrey. Everywhere else there are cute salesgirls to distract me. That one has mostly guys.
Favorite Restaurant: It's my mission to find the best steak in New York City. So far, Peter Luger's, but I still haven't gotten to STK.
Favorite Hobby: BEATING EVA AT TRIVIAL PURSUIT, EVA YOU ARE SUCH A CHEATER. Okay, for real, it's painting and also walking my dog, Chaucer, on the Park Loop.
Favorite Place: The park loop, with Chaucer.
Secret Wish: I wish so many people didn't know about my family and my money. It's not so fun. I don't want to be on SocialiteRank or whatever.
Not So Secret Wish: A Whitney Retrospective.
Biggest Achievement: Getting my parents to accept that I want to do art.
You’ll Never Be Without… Girls in my life causing drama!!!!!

Action Jackson

2006-12-15T08:06:00.000-08:00

Unleash your inner plagarist at www.jacksonpollock.org

Pace Yourself

2006-12-12T12:08:00.000-08:00

Dear Eva,

I remember this one time on Juergen's yacht, we were all a little traumatized because The Socialite came with someone, and none of us knew how to deal with her. It was like two years ago and she was perfectly nice but sort of on another planet.

What I remember most is the one night when we tried to make sangria, only we didn't have any red wine left so we made it with vodka, in this plastic cooler that we'd bought at the airport. We were pretty trashed and Juergen had this fabulous (fabulous = dumb. but awesome. but dumb.) idea. He leans over the railing of the boat and he goes "Hey Socialite! Did you know that Sebastian's an artist? You should pose for him!"

Of course The Socialite hears the word "Pose" and it's all over. She immediately jumps over to our deck and plops herself down and says "paint me! paint me!"

And then she peels off her sundress and she holds it over her head like a sail, and lets the wind catch it, and lets it float away. Now she's got no clothes.

"Uh, dude," I mumble to Juergen but it's already too late because The Socialite is splayed on the dock in what she thinks is an "artsy" pose - no expression on her face, shoulders sharpened, spine crumbled, total mess - and she goes "paint me!"

Then her hot pink Sidekick rings.

"Hello," she says, and she flips over. Her belly button is pierced and she is wearing body glitter instead of tanning oil. "Omigosh," she goes, and she sits up, like cold water just hit her. "Really? Where? You guys?" and she turns to us. "You guys, I have to go. There's a party. I can't miss a party."

She says it like a sugar junkie talks about their brownies. It's sort of scary.

"I can't miss a party," she says over and over.

And then the Socialite jumps, drunk and buck naked, from the yacht into the ocean.

"What are you doing?" yells Juergen.

"I've got to get to the party!" she screams back.

We never saw her again, but the next week, the Socialite's photo was in US Weekly, at the party. She had wet hair and a Cavalli dress, and the caption said "beachy hair is in for summer!"

Anyway Eva, this is why I'm scared to go to your Christmas party. So I'm not gonna RSVP quite yet. Let's just say I'll think about it.

--Sebastian.

The Babe of Basel

2006-12-06T19:13:00.000-08:00

If you're lucky enough to be in Miami this week, stop by the Peter Seidler exhibit at the Design Center and introduce yourself to the lovely and amazing artist/model/economist/whatever Greer Smith (yeah that's her on the left): 3940 North Miami Avenue in the Design District., 8pm-12 am. Should be a blast.

As for me, I am NOT in Miami so I'm off to dinner with Sophia, who is taking me somewhere called Zen Palate, which I assume has fake meat. I am so not stoked about this but weirdly, Sophia's not as clueless as she seems and sometimes, she has great ideas (once in Sunset Heat I wanted to paint but didn't have a canvas; she asked the pool boy for a patio umbrella, helped me dismantle it, and voila, canvas... sort of genius actually).

Wish me luck - me and tofu are not so good together.

A Gawkward Pause

2006-12-04T12:15:00.000-08:00

Sophia keeps calling me about the Employees Only party tonight and if I want to go. And I do, but it's hard going to parties with Sophia because no other girls will come near us! It's like we have a forcefield around us and nobody can come close. No fun. And definitely no new girls. Any solutions on how to solve this? It was exactly the same way in Sunset Heat too, I'll never forget when she pushed Jenny into the pool...

Anyway, just got psyched because Gawker started a new feature, where they fill empty ad space with up-and-coming artwork (my favorite by Sophia Peers is above). I'm wondering what I should submit - does a parody of a perfume campaign count?

The Blow Up (Doll)

2006-11-30T19:06:00.000-08:00

There's a weird trend happening for Art Basel (art basel, noun, a huge booze fueled party in Miami where the ostensible cause is art and the real cause is having your photo taken, wouldn't be caught dead there unless of course I get to exhibit).

First, MAC Cosmetics is having a dinner for Dita Von Teese. Of course, a dinner with Dita Von Teese probably consists of a can of whipped cream and that's it.

Then Bottega Veneta is throwing Liz Goldwyn a party for her new book, which is, um, about Dita Von Teese. Again, I'm assuming the hors d'ouevres come out of a ready whip can.

Seriously, this is amazing. All I need to do to get my own Art Basel show is have Eva, Sophia, and Jenny run around in matching bikinis while maybe reciting some random Portueguese nursery rhyme and drinking Diet Coke out of a bottle, and everyone would be like, "oooh, this is so progressive, I love it."

Wait a second... why is Eva, Sophia, and Jenny running around in their bikinis a bad idea? Dude, I'm so getting into Art Basel next year...

Art Star Confidential

2006-11-26T21:06:00.000-08:00

Attention aspiring photogs, Heatherette junkies, and Britney fans: David LaChapelle needs a new intern:

David LaChapelle Studio, Inc. has openings for winter internships at our New York Office. Applicants must be available at least 2-3 days a week. This is a non-paid position. Students are however, eligible for college credit. We are a post-production office, dealing with all aspects of David LaChapelle’s photographic work. Applicants must have basic knowledge of MAC computer (CS, Photoshop, MSW, HTML). Apply for this position by e-mail (DLCIntern@gmail.com) or fax (212-529-9571). Please send resume and cover letter.

Good luck, I hear it's a really cool experience to whoever gets it.

Hard to Explain

2006-11-26T19:59:00.000-08:00

I once knew a girl who only dated rock stars.

Her parents didn't love her, I think.

She started with drummers, then worked her way up; the bass player; the guitar guy; finally the front man. She would go on tour with them, she would sit in the studios with them, and most importantly, she would always hold their hand during pictures. That was a huge deal.

One night I was at the National Arts Club, and it was Jimmy Fallon's birthday, and she was there. She was alone and she was beautiful. I came upstairs from the galleries and she was all by herself and sitting on the steps.

"What are you doing here?" she said.

"I belong here," I answered, and I meant to the club, but I could see on her face that what I said was right, and wrong. "Do you want to come sit with me?" I asked, and she did, all night. We talked about how we met at a futball game in high school and how Kettle chips taste better and how Sidekicks are so fussy. And then it was time to go.

She said "I'm so sick of hanging out with people who don't get it. Even stupid things like potato chips. Please. Can we please spend more time together?"

The next week I saw her on Greene Street with Jakob Dylan. She saw me too but she didn't say hi.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fights?

2006-11-21T19:46:00.000-08:00

A lot's happened in the past week. Just to fill you in, we've got...

Jenny discovering that Eva slept with her ex boyfriend who Eva doesn't even care about but Jenny's still not over.

Eva posting her third chapter about life at "Not Vogue" (and if you take me out for an amazing steak, I might just tell you what mag it is)

Sophia freaking out about the Jenny/ Eva situation

Our first TV episode airing online

And me being so stressed that I can barely make an In & Out list, much less actual art. Well, maybe tomorrow will be better.

Conde Nast Wants YOU!

2006-11-14T11:58:00.000-08:00

Dude, it's like army recruitment for salad-eaters:

Fun stuff. Why can't Gagosian post gallery openings like that?

Celebrity Skin

2006-11-12T21:10:00.000-08:00

Once I met a certain celebrity. We'll call her Lindsay.

No, nix that.

Once I met a certain celebrity. We'll call her Famous Girl.

Famous Girl (FG) was at the pool at the Satay in Miami and so was I, and we were bored. We drank frozen lemonade and traded sunglasses like five times and laughed because mine were too big on her and hers were pink, and she was actually pretty cool.

Then she saw a copy of US Weekly with her face on it and flipped out. And it said she stole another FG's boyfriend and I said, "How can you live with that stuff? All those lies that everyone reads?"

And she looked at me really calmly and she said, "Well for one thing it's not a lie. It just matters more because I'm famous, but at the same time, it doesn't really matter at all, because to most people I'm not even real."

I tried to tell Eva that last night at Freeman's but she didn't really listen. She just said "yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that Jenny will never talk to me again."

I whipped out an US Weekly and showed her.

"Not true," I explained, "Apparently, Paris and Lindsay are friends again."

Oops, I mean FG and FG.

Whatever. Truth be told, I sense "Team Jenny" and "Team Eva" t-shirts at Kitson in the near future. But then at least Sophia will be happy because she'll finally be famous enough for her own American Apparel spinoff.

She's also the only one I can deal with right now, so I'm off to her house to watch the first episode. It's definitely a haul to Little West 12th, but I'm making her order Pop Burger this very second.

More later.

They Don't Love You Like I Love You

2006-11-11T10:46:00.000-08:00

Just realized in a matter of days there will be trailers of our TV show up for you guys to see and I'm flipped out that you might get the wrong idea about the girls. Yeah they're a little misguided and a lot spoiled sometimes but seriously and truly they're some of the greatest girls I've ever been lucky enough to know. So I decided I'd start posting the girls the way I know them, and once the episodes get aired, you'll have a little more background than just, uh, Sophia pushing Jenny into the pool at the party. Which was very funny, yeah.

Okay so here's the first one:

Today's List

2006-11-09T23:55:00.000-08:00

It's almost that time... Laguna kids, watch your backs...

Why You Should Never Tell a Girl You Speak French

2006-11-07T09:58:00.000-08:00

Year of Jenny: You speak French, right?

Sebastian: Don't you?

Year of Jenny: Spanish, Portuguese, and German.

Sebastian: Oh yeah, your mom's from Brazil. What's up?

Year of Jenny: Can you translate this article from French Vogue about Pete Doherty for me?

Sebastian: Sure, it says... uh... now that Kate Moss is doing a line for Top Shop, he's doing a line for Gio-Goi in London that will unveil on December 7 at a secret location.

Year of Jenny: A top secret location?

Sebastian: Yeah but it's not secret. It's getting unveiled backstage before his first London concert solo, which is also on December 7.

Year of Jenny: How do you know that?

Sebastian: Because, uh, Sophia was talking about going.

Year of Jenny: WHAT?!

Sebastian: Calm down! Hey! Don't you have like Killers tickets or something?

Year of Jenny: This is So. Not. Okay.

You Can't Handle the Truth

2006-11-04T23:48:00.000-08:00

Really weirded out because Eva just called like 30 minutes ago.

I'm like - hey, shouldn't you be dancing on a table or on a lap somewhere?

No - she says - it's important.

You must be drunk - I answer, and she says - I wish. Look. If I knew something that, as a friend, you would want to know, but if I knew that, as a friend, your feelings would be massively hurt, would you still want me to tell you?

Eva - I said - we're not friends. All this "as a friend" stuff is throwing me off. What the hell is going on?

And Eva started crying and I swear, this is poor form of me, but I swear, I thought she was gonna say she liked me the whole time on vacation, and she'd stolen Sophia's phone so she couldn't call me back or whatever. Like I said, poor form, but it's really what I thought. And then Eva corrected me because she said - you know I love Jenny, right? And I'm like - how can anyone not love Jenny? Remember the one time when she finger painted with maple syrup on our pancakes at the beach? How cool was that? And Eva goes - it's very cool and I slept with her boyfriend.

Big pause.

And Eva keeps going - and I didn't mean to and we were drunk but it's why he broke up with her, why Reed did, because he wanted to go out with me, and then we went on vacation, and I got so uncomfortable and guilty that now we can't talk and she thinks I hate her but I'm afraid she'll hate me.

And Eva starts to cry, on the phone, at 2 am, and I'm shocked.

And I say - Eva, it's gonna be okay, do you need to come over?

And she says - no, I just needed to tell someone, and I feel better, and I'm gonna go to bed. And do I promise not to tell Jenny.

And I promise her, because she's really upset, because I really like her, because I really like Sophia, but I also really like Jenny. She's my girl, she's my kid, she's my... I can't lie to her and NOT tell her, you know?

So now I'm thinking... I have to say this to Jenny with my art. This will be my biggest challenge, and if it works, my greatest triumph.

Whoa I just sounded like Doctor Evil.

But still. Gotta tell Jenny, somehow. Maybe with wire sculpture. Nothing says "Yo, I love you but your best friend is a hag" like an amazing piece of wire sculpture, right?

Stay tuned...

The first piece I ever had exhibited...

2006-11-02T06:14:00.000-08:00

Panic! At the Deli

2006-10-31T11:24:00.000-08:00

Dear girl I have a date with tonight,

I just realized you might be a vegetarian. This ruins everything. Though I have no problem with a girl who doesn’t eat meat… actually, yeah, I do have some problems with that. It’s one thing if you keep kosher or something but I don’t know if I could date a girl who can’t eat steak. Also hot dogs; sometimes I am so into hot dogs, like the street meat kind you get outside of TenJune. It would be fun to buy you one at 4 am after we stumble out of whatever house party or benefit party or gallery after party we were at, and we could eat them together and watch the sunrise and stare at Ashlee Simpson as she wanders around lost from Bungalow. That happened one night, and she came up to me and asked me if unicorns were guys or girls and my friend John took her picture with his cell phone. True story. Poor form on Ashlee’s party but true story.

There’s also Pop Burger, or White Castle in Williamsburg, or Katz’ on the LES, and if you can’t eat at any of those places you probably will not be any fun.

Especially since this is what I’ve got planned for the first date: steak hunting. This is one of my favorite activities in New York actually; you take a map and you throw a dart at it. Then you look at the neighborhood it lands on and pick a restaurant in the area. Call and make sure they have steak – funky grilled Japanese strip steak (Bond Street Sushi in Soho) or tequila soaked steak (Chiarascurria in Hell’s Kitchen) – that’s fine, it just has to be real steak. Then you go, and you rate it on a scale of 1-10 , and here’s the rule: since it’s my game, if it’s crappy steak, then I’ll buy you a bottle of champagne wherever we are to apologize. And if it’s really good steak, then you have to kiss me. And those are the rules. Especially since, if you down an entire bottle of champagne and you still don’t want to kiss me, then it’s definitely not meant to be.

So.

Don’t be a vegetarian, okay? Because you’re very good at conversation and very gorgeous even when you’re in sweats – yeah, I did see you in sweats, that one time at the marina when you didn’t think anyone was watching and you were learning how to fly-fish – and I sort of have a good feeling about you. Which may be erased if tofu is involved.

Today's List

2006-10-29T20:32:00.000-08:00

putting some of my art up soon, promise.

Things You Can Tell Just By Looking At Her

2006-10-26T12:17:00.000-07:00

Last night, Sophia asked if I’d ever been through a bad breakup. I responded by beating her at pool (Sorry Sophia. You’re really bad. We’ve gotta get you help). But I thought a lot on the walk home and Soph, just for you – only for you would I do this, okay? – let me tell you about my last bad breakup.

It happened in the Guggenheim’s young artist night.

We’d been dating for eight months, which equaled two semesters, which equaled forever. I even remembered her birthday.

We’re walking around looking at the art, and in my head I’m like, okay, I’m a better artist than this, when do I get to show in the Guggenheim? Then I get to this series of photos. They’re gorgeous black and whites of a naked girl, laid out in slivers on the wall. If you step back and look at them, you get the whole picture.

And the whole picture was, uh, my girlfriend.

I look down at the name and it’s this guy who directed her in a music video once, while she was at the New School. I look down at the date and it’s two months ago.

“Uh, babe, why are you naked in this guy’s pictures?”

And the look on her face said it all, because it was this big “oh-nothing’s-wrong” smile, like she knew what was coming. It comes out that they’ve been sneaking out behind my back for months. Which I should have known. Like she was really taking an Intro to Chinese class every Thursday night. Intro to Chinese? She can barely speak English!

So Sophia, we broke up in the Guggenheim. Basically in front of the guy who was sleeping with her when she was sleeping with me. Oh, and Jason Schwartzman was there and he saw the whole thing. And there I was in the Guggenheim with my ex girlfriend and Rushmore, and she goes, “Are you sure you want to break up? I’m a piece of art now.”

And I said, “No honey, you’re just a piece of work.”

A Certain Romance

2006-10-24T08:40:00.000-07:00

So you know that part in Almost Famous when the kid turns to Kate Hudson and he goes, “just when and where does this real world exist?”

That’s exactly how I feel right now and here’s why: dating. Or you know what, let’s go with non-dating. Because that’s what we’re doing here in New York in our “oh wow, you’re still so young” ‘20s.

At [take out boarding school so you can’t track me down] you were either like, married, or you were hooking up inside the photo lab at night and the next day, it was no talking. At [take out college so you can’t track me down] it was the same, except with less vodka and more conversation. Why are Ivy girls always so conversational?

A tangent. Anyway.

Now it’s like, I’m old. If I dated a high school girl, I’d get arrested. If I dated a college girl, I’d get roped into long conversations about my feelings, probably, because again, they’re all into "talking". But it seems like everyone in this city is either in a hardcore, Eternal Sunshine relationship… or they’re hooking up behind the ice machine at La Esquina and then underneath some ottoman in their living room. Or if they’re really wasted and I haven’t planned the evening well, they’re hooking up in my living room. Poor form, my friends; poor form.

So now that I’m back from vacation, I’m thinking of something impossible: actually dating. Not just one girl cause then you get the married vibe; especially if the photogs catch you and then you’re a Thing, and there’s nothing worse than a Thing. But I can’t date too many girls because, to be honest, I will forget one of her names. Probably as I’m taking her clothes off. Not cool. So let’s start with two. Let’s date two girls and figure out if there’s a happy balance between krazy glued together and misbehaving underneath my ottoman. Although, to be fair, that can happen too and it will all be okay.

Or, you know, even better.

With that in mind, here is today’s list:

IN

Tan lines
Studio 60
The Kills
Aspen
Calling out girls by name
The blonde

OUT
Pickup lines
Lost
The Killers
The Spotted Pig
Calling out girls by hair color
The brunette (at least, for today)

Also I’m supposed to write something about the TV thing. I guess, uh, it’s all true. Except, you know, the parts where I look a jerk - or worse, like a suburbanite.

"And you can tell Rolling Stone magazine that my last words were..."

2006-10-22T20:40:00.000-07:00

Testing.

Testing.

Jenny, is this how I'm supposed to do it? Hit me back, this whole blog thing is not so much my deal.

--S.